Updated 7 May 2012
Debuted at MediaWest*Con, May 2011
A slash zine of Orlando Bloom characters
By award-winning fan writers Glow and Kath Moonshine
175 pages / Cover by Agt Spooky / Interior art by Shar
“Orlando Bloom is a Hot F—ker!”
Every project begins with inspiration. That was ours.
Orlando Bloom has appeared in many movies that make slashers’ hearts go aflutter. This zine, entitled Bloomtown, represents a collection of stories from those different universes as seen through a slasher’s eyes. Here is a listing of movie-verses and pairings you will find in this unique zine:
- Kingdom of the Heart by Moonshine
A Kingdom of Heaven—Balian/Nasir—slash story
Balian of Ibelin makes the mad, but supremely brave decision to face the contingent of Salah ad-Din’s army with a handful of men in order to protect the peasants fleeing to the Fortress of Kerak. Battered and bloodied, Balian and his surviving men are captured by Nasir, a desert prince who has not been able to shake the memory of the beauteous boy from his mind since their first meeting four months prior. Overcome with a desire he has never experienced before, Nasir strikes a bargain with his young captive . . . one that will change both their lives and hearts forever.
The boy’s eyes began to cast about—an outward show of his inner turmoil. I took a clean towel from the nightstand basin, wrung it out, and placed it soothingly upon his troubled brow. “I will not leave any of my men behind,” Balian stated firmly.
“And I cannot release them all without a price being paid,” I answered with equally grim pride.
Balian’s fine hands came up to massage his temples, as if he could somehow solve his problems from without. “Surely . . . surely there is something I have that is of value to you.”
Y’Allah! I thought with joy.
I have him.
“Perhaps we can come to an arrangement that will benefit us both,” I said gently, not wanting to spook the boy now that I had the bit in his mouth. My next move must somehow convince this unbroken stallion, of his own free will, to allow me to fasten on the saddle. Only then would I attempt to mount this fine steed.
“What sort of arrangement?” Balian quiered, a minor note of misgiving finally colouring his tone.
“You do indeed possess something I desire,” I said reasonably. “And I have the power and wealth to grant what you want—the release of all your vassels, along with their weapons, horses, and war harness.”
“Setting aside only my father’s sword and his ring,” Balian said staunchly, “anything I have is yours if it will save my men. Tell me what it is you want.”
“You,” I answered simply.
- California Boys by Glow
An Elizabethtown—Drew/JD—slash story excerpted from the novel California Boys
California Boys is the sequel novel to Kentucky Sons. Both take place partly in the universe of the movie Elizabethtown, only a character bearing a striking resemblance to Johnny Deppnamed JDplays the love interest opposite Orlando’s character of Drew Baylor. This story is taken from the part of the novel where Drew and JD first arrive in California. All you need to know to enjoy this hot sample is that Drew met JD in Kentucky, they fell in love under difficult circumstances, and Drew decided to come to California to live with this incredible man. Hopefully, this smoking hot scene will whet your appetite for more, and you will want to read the full length novels. At the very least, you will get to enjoy the loving that takes place as they christen their new home.
“Why don’t you close your eyes?” JD said in his caring tone. “You’re running on empty.”
“No, I’m good. Besides, I wouldn’t feel right dozing off on you now. It’s because of me you’ve had to drive all this way yourself. The least I can do is provide scintillating conversation. Are you not scintillated?” Drew meant it to be silly, so was thrown by JD’s smoky reply.
“Everything about you is scintillating.”
Okay, there was a jolt to jump-start his weary insides. A part of him still had trouble believing JD really felt those kinds of things about plain ole Drew Baylor, but the man was so grindingly honest, there was no way he was saying it just to be nice. “Did it just get really warm in here?” Drew reached for the knob and turned up the air conditioning a notch.
“Yeah, a bit.” JD shifted in the driver’s seat as if trying to find a more comfortable position.
“We almost there?” Drew was having a difficult time getting comfortable as well. How long had it been since they’d been together intimately? A week? Okay, more like since yesterday morning but still. It’s after midnight, so it’s tomorrow, so there’s another day when you think about it.
“Fifteen minutes,” JD grunted, sounding not nearly as patient this time.
Drew tried not to look in JD’s direction. If he looked at him, he’d want to move closer, touch him, kiss him. They’d driven together enough for him to know JD wouldn’t find such behavior cool at all. Drew admired what a careful driver JD was and he totally respected where the cautious nature came from. Damn freeways in damned LA were just too damn long. “Got like a shortcut or something?”
“Working on it.”
- Gift of the Gods by Moonshine
A Troy—Paris/Achilles/Odysseus—slash story
In a scene obviously left on the cutting room floor from the film Troy , Orlando Bloom’s character Paris comes to the tent of the mighty warrior Achilles in order to sacrifice himself so that his brother’s body may be released to their father. Paris is in for many surprises this night, the first being that Achilles has already relinquished Hector’s body. However, Achilles is less willing to set free the fair prince whose sexual escapades have precipitated such tragic events. Still grieving the death of his beloved boy, Patroclus, Achilles’ rage is fierce. However, his trusted friend Odysseus, who is also present in the tent when Paris arrives, persuades him to find a better use for the gorgeous Prince of Troy. Told in turn from the point of view of each of these hot-blooded men, this is a story of fiery passions that cannot easily be sated. Yet it is also the story of men who discover their innermost misery, fears, and longings are not so truly different. Here is but a brief sample of Paris’ thoughts as he begins to see the warrior Achilles in a different light.
Like a bird with a broken wing pursued by a serpent, the pure animal presence of Achilles mesmerizes me. I cannot look away as the soft pink tongue snakes out, laving the chiseled lips. Odysseus continues to hold me tight, but his work is wasted effort: I could not have moved were the tent afire. But the only fire is the one within me, boiling my blood in its veins, scouring me from the inside out. I stand and watch, silent as a marble kouroithe life-size statues of naked boys one sees in all the temples dedicated to Apolloas Achilles, himself like unto a young Sun God, with his halo of golden hair swinging freely about his uncommonly handsome face, kneels before me. There is nothing weak or servile about the world’s foremost fighting man crouching at my feet. Indeed, he seems more lion than man, muscles rippling menacingly, his teeth bared in a way that makes my jewel pouch contract, seeking to hide beneath the frightened curl that is my penis. He presses his forehead to my belly, just below the breastbone, and more than the flutter of fear, for the first time this night, I feel the erotic gift of the Goddess radiate from the warm place where our flesh meets.
- Consanguinity by Glow
A Lord of the Rings—Legolas/Boromir—slash story
Brought together in Rivendell for the Council of Elrond, Legolas and Boromir immediately clash. Though distrustful and wary of each other, they realize they must seek common ground if they are to be effective members of the newly formed fellowship sworn to protect Frodo on his quest to destroy the Ring. Upon an ornate settee in a gorgeous, tranquil garden in Rivendell, they find much more than that which was sought. Animosity sparks lust, which then transforms to something deeper and far more beautiful than either had ever experienced.
It took him a moment to gasp enough air to speak, so rankled had this latest kiss left him. The Elf was breathing hard beneath him as well, chest heaving, eyes glazing, lips swelling in a manner that drew every scalding drop of Boromir’s blood to his groin.
“You insist upon playing this game, do you? So be it.” With an unsteady hand, he unfastened his cloak and flung it to the ground. Unencumbered now, he repositioned himself , kneeling on either side of Legolas’ hips as he captured the wrists once more.
“I play no game,” the Elf insisted, though his demeanor was anything but certain. His arms shook in the confines of Boromir’s hold and he had yet to take in a full breath. The words that tumbled from his mouth attempted to be bold, but there was no mistaking the apprehension beneath the surface. “You want what I offer. I tasted it in your mouth.”
“Ah, but have you stopped to consider if you want what I offer?”
- Condolement by Glow
A Lord of the Rings—Legolas/Aragorn—slash story
(Sequel to "Consanguinity")
Following “Consanguinity”, this story brings together Aragorn and Legolas, who are both grieving over the death of Boromir. There is little time for sorrow, for in the morning they must ride to Rohan and continue their battle against the evil forces of Sarurman and Sauron. In these few brief hours of solace, longtime comrades Legolas and Aragorn find a way to bring each other comfort, and to soothe their battered hearts and weary souls.
Legolas’ features went from stricken to forlorn. “It pains me to see you thus, Aragorn. Is there naught I can do to ease this burden you carry?”
“I have named it.”
“You were not serious.”
“Legolas,” he whispered, setting his palm upon the ivory cheek. “Though I have proven blind and insensitive, believe that I have always carried deep affection for you. Anything you need of me is no hardship. Dare I say it would be pleasure?”
The Elf leaned into his hand eager as a dog hungry for a pat. His eyes spoke of confusion even as his body trembled. “I no longer love you with the devotion I once carried, for that aspect of my heart was claimed by my captain. But my allegiance and affection will be yours as long as I draw breath. Yet I cannot see how this would be right.”
“Nothing can take the part of my heart that belongs to Arwen, just as naught could steal yours from Boromir. But they are gone from us. We are here, together. Comrades, fellows, friends. For many a day we have relied upon each other for our very breath. Tonight we each possess what the other needs.” He leaned forward, pressing his lips to Legolas’ forehead, pleading with word and deed to be accepted. “Please, fair Legolas. Close your eyes . . .”
- An Occurance at Glenrowan Inn by Moonshine
A Ned Kelly—Ned Kelly/Joe Byrne—slash story
What do you get when you cross Orlando Bloom, Heath Ledger, the Australian outback and Jessie James? You get a movie called Ned Kelly, a touching story of oppression and bravery against impossible odds. But what happens when a talented slash writer wraps her keyboard around two such gorgeous, yet tragic characters? You get outlawed lovers who grope their way to a richly deserved happy ending!
“Damn but you’re a fine friend, Joe Byrne!” Neddie gasped, even as he reached for the canteen and poured half the remainder down his neck.
“Aye, I should hope so, for surely there’s no harm in being friendly,” I answered around the stone blocking me throat. He must have heard something change in me voice, for Ned’s hand shot to mine and clutched it tight.
A sappy knot in the embers popped loudly and I looked up and over, right into Ned’s glittering eyes, the fire’s glow reflected in them, the rest of his face in shadow. I dropped me partner’s hand as though it had scalded me, but Ned stroked my cheek, his rough palm cupping the nape of me neck as he gently pulled me towards him. Ned’s lips touched me own, a little open and at an awkward angle, lightly at first and then a little more firmly as he shifted, hand sliding up to knot in me hair. A flick of tongue, even more surprising, and I must have made some noise, or started, because Ned drew away. I din’t want that . . . din’t never want him to pull back from me. Not after kissing him like that, jest starting to kiss him. I wanted him to crawl into me . . . make me his forever.
- Jubilee by Moonshine
A Pirates of the Caribbean—Jack/Will—slash story
From the creators of the Parley universe comes a new pirate-verse! "Jubilee" is the first of a series of slash stories detailing a long, and loving, marriage between Captain Jack Sparrow and his beloved mate-for-life William Turner. Come experience their first anniversary celebration which proves to be as madcap and unique as the lovers themselves. Jubilee is equal parts farce, fervor, and fierce devotion, sure to put a smile on your lips while it touches your heart.
“I’ve never eaten anywhere that took reservations,” Will answered, a small frown of concentration kinking his fine forehead as he pointed his toe and pulled on his right boot. “Is it fancy, this place you’re taking me? Is it expensive?”
“Not so upmarket as all that, Sweet William,” Jack answered, imagining how his gold would have transformed the shabby tavern into a wonderland of paper lanterns, Chinese silk, and fifty wax tapers to turn the pitchy night into golden day: Milky and his family had instructions to turn the White Sails into Singapore—at least for one night. “And by reservations I meant I’d reserved a tavern for our private usage tonight.”
“You’ve rented an entire tavern for us?” Will asked, pausing in his struggles to get the left boot on. “Whatever possessed you to do that?”
Because I know my boy be shy by nature, and I doesn’t want to embarrass the face off’n him when I asks him to dance with me in public on our first anniversary—our paper jubilee, Jack thought. But what he said aloud was, “Just wanted to have you all to meself . . . tired, I am, of sharing you with the world.”
“I’d hardly call the Pearl’s crew of two dozen the world,” Will retorted, but Jack could tell by the little smile that kinked the corners of the honeyed lips that he was secretly pleased.
“As you say,” Jack conceded readily. “Ne’ertheless, it’ll be good to have some time alone together, won’t it, lad?”
With a stomp, Will settled his foot into the last boot. “Yes,” he answered simply, ere standing and slipping into Jack’s arms. “Yes,” Will repeated, before bending to kiss Jack’s lips. “Yes,” he whispered against the shell of Jack’s ear, having nosed aside a matted lock bound with beads and red thread. Without so much as a by your leave, Jack found his neck the next target of Will’s unerring kitten tongue. Gooseflesh rose in the wake of the slick knowing digit, the skin crinkling all across his arms, his chest, and even upon his “codpiece”—his personal sobriquet for his balls.
“That be good, lad,” Jack mumbled, unconsciously tipping his head back to grant greater access, “but we’ve got . . . reservations.”
Debuted at MediaWest*Con, May 2011
||California Boys New!
Sequel to the Elizabethtown Slash Novel Kentucky Sons by Glow
Featuring characters embodied by
Orlando Bloom & Johnny Depp
By award-winning fan writer Glow
271 pages / color scrapbook art
Cover Design by Kath Moonshine
What brings two people together? Is it circumstance? Fate? Luck? Are there souls in this world destined to meet? Do soulmates exist? What is the role of karma in the blossoming of love? How do our choices affect our outcomes? According to Buddhism, we ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery. We are the architects of our own fate.
Whatever it was that brought Drew Baylor and John Depford together that fateful night in the corridor of the Brown Hotel in Louisville, Kentucky, may well have been some form of kismet. Coming together, though, is only one step in the journey. The path to staying together is strewn with hard work, countless obstacles, and many choices. At this point in time, Drew Baylor, who had spent eight years of his life in conception and design, has no blueprint for his future. John Depford, the writer, has unfolded a blank page in his personal memoir, uncertain how to fill it.
The only thing either of them is truly sure of is that something profound transformed them both the night they met, altering their course, reconfiguring their destination, bringing them to this crossroad. In the road trip of life, there are many signposts. The question: Which ones do we heed?
This novel-length sequel picks up where the events of Kentucky Sons left off, following the lives of the endearing characters from the first story while introducing us to more memorable characters who inhabit this world. Through humor, reflection, trials and tribulations, steamy passion, and an abundance of heart and love, Drew and JD work to figure out this thing called life and their place within it. Come share their journey.
It took a while to come back to himself, Drew finally aware of the discomfort of the hard floor and what a sticky mess he was. He tried to raise his head enough to look around, squinting through what had to be bloodshot eyes to try and figure out where he was. Oh, yeah. JD’s apartment. He realized then he hadn’t even seen it yet—but they sure as hell had christened it.
“Hope this isn’t how you welcome all your houseguests,” he found himself saying.
“You’re the only one I’ve had . . . I mean, the sleepover kind.”
Drew found the energy to smile, liking JD’s response a lot. But then his body started to complain. He had been exhausted earlier; now he was totally enervated and everything was starting to hurt. He sure as hell didn’t relish the idea of spending the night on this hard, cold floor.
“So, like, do you have any furniture?”
JD started to laugh, chuckling wearily at first, but it soon turned into a full-out belly laugh. Somehow, from somewhere, Drew found the energy to laugh, too.
“Welcome home, California boy,” JD said through his laughter, reaching his hand up to pull Drew’s head down and kiss him.
It sure had been a helluva homecoming.
“Anyway, I guess my point here is I didn’t have any business inviting you into a situation like this without full disclosure. Not sure where my head was at when I did, but it wasn’t very fair.”
“I think your head was in about the same place as mine. We weren’t ready to say goodbye yet. Is that so bad?”
JD took a long, deep breath, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “No. Not bad at all.”
Unsure if he was going to sound stupid, Drew pushed forward anyway, trying to match JD’s brave candor. “To tell the truth, you could have said you lived in a tent in someone’s yard with lawn chairs for furniture and I’d have wanted to come. Knowing that, maybe you can stop worrying about being unfair to me, or not having given ‘full disclosure.’ I know you’re an honorable guy and those kinds of things matter a lot to you. But I’m glad to be here because it’s where you are and your place is fine with me. You’re worrying about it more than I am.”
JD turned his head from the road long enough to glance at Drew. He seemed more at ease now. “You’re right.”
“Besides, I have more important things to worry about like, being a bum with no job whose family isn’t speaking to him because he ran off to live with a stranger.” He meant it to be funny and it kind of was in a way. He was glad JD laughed, too.
“In a dump,” JD added.
JD reached for his hand. “It’s all going to work out in its own time, you know.”
“I believe it when you say it.”
“Well, I’ll have to keep saying it.”
“Works for me.”
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